The event is nothing;The respond is everything.

We do have a choice;

We can’t change the event but we can change our perception.

An event is always in the past tense. Do we want to live the past? It’s gone. That event coming back will not be exactly the same. Just like water in a flowing river, that water will never ever be the same. Do we want to expand our energies in an event that has already gone past for good? An anger, an irritation, a frustration, a sadness, a guilt, a fear.

Making a choice is being in the “Presence”. Being in “Now”. Letting the Past go. Releasing it. Finding a closure. Forgiving. Our life’s meant to be a joyful journey. We’re all here to live. Forgiving and releasing what has just pasted is the beginning to be aware of our Being.

Being in the Presence. Being in Now.

Similar to being in a relationship. Many of us during the times when we’re being with our parents, spouses, friends or children, we’re in a state of drifted lost. We’re not being aware of the joy of those connections. Our daily pressures and demand distant us from enjoying those connections. We tend to be lost in enjoying those relationships. We’re lost in our own thoughts while being with them. We aren’t being in an Aware state. We’re not in the flow. We’re being around our relationships for the sake of just being around. How often do we enjoy everyone single moment when we’re being around them. It’s not the amount time that we spent being with them. It’s about the quality time, although it might be for just a few minutes. If each of those minutes is a joy to both parties, those moments were not lost.

Just like when we fall in love, each moment is a blissful romantic moment. We’re in the flow; we’re being in absolute awareness; we’re being in absolute presence.

Think about this story…

A king was once asked by a man, “how can you be in a state of constant awareness. You’ve all the richness to corrupt you, to spoil you. You’ve the power to distract you”.

The king replied, “why not. Let me show you. Now carry this hot pot of oil on your head and never spill a drop. Follow me for a stroll beyond the gates of my palace”.

The king and the man walked past busy streets filled with aromas, sounds of music, whispers, snake charmers and beautiful women.

Having returning to the palace after the walk, the king asked the man, “now relate to me what you’d heard, the smell, things you’ve seen and felt “.

The man replied, “how could I’ve done any of those. I was concentrating on making sure the pot of oil was steadily balanced on my head”.

The king replied, “there you go. You’re in an absolute state of bliss. In total awareness and nothing else in important. You’re in the Presence. The events around you didn’t matter at all. You’re totally absorb with the moments while the pot of oil was on your head”.

Just like

- each breathe that we take, it’s a new breathe. We chose to enjoy that new breathe or treat it as just another breathe. “If it is to be, it is up to me”.Make that choice NOW.

http://rpc.technorati.com/rpc/ping

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn’t it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 345678987654321

Now, take a look at this…

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Let’s discuss about these two words today.

Patience.

Tolerance.

Patience is - the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties.

Tolerance (Toleration) is a term used in social, cultural and religious contexts to describe attitudes and practices that prohibit discrimination against those whose practices or group memberships may be disapproved of by those in the majority. Though developed to refer to the religious toleration of minority religious sects following the Protestant Reformation, these terms are increasingly used to refer to a wider range of tolerated practices and groups, such as the toleration of sexual practices and orientations, or of political parties or ideas widely considered objectionable.

The principle of toleration is controversial. Liberal critics may see in it an inappropriate implication that the “tolerated” custom or behavior is an aberration or that authorities have a right to punish difference; such critics may instead emphasize notions such as civility or pluralism. Other critics, some sympathetic to traditional fundamentalism, condemn toleration as a form of moral relativism. On the other hand, defenders of toleration may define it as involving positive regard for difference or, alternately, may regard a narrow definition of the term as more specific and useful than its proposed alternatives, since it does not require false expression of enthusiasm for groups or practices that are genuinely disapproved of.

Now…these words have been referred to as virtues to have. I would like to offer another point of view. These two seemingly virtues are to me “Struggles”. Why?

Patience and Tolerance provoke a negative feeling. And inner struggle.

I know he is late but I’ll be patient. I’ll endure this habit of his of always being late.

He makes me angry but I will tolerate this anger. I’ll not lose my patience.

The society is tolerant of the minority.

These words have negative energies. By being tolerant and patient, the acts themselves sap us of our inner energies. Being in these states, adopting these mental states and behaviors, we’ll have to struggle with our feelings, our inner representations, our sub-modalites.

We create “Parts” within us that we might not even know. These thoughts unconsciously split our personality, our Being into parts.

What do you think?

The Duality of Pain And Pleasure

Our materialistic world is full of dualities and contradictions. Without Pain we know not of Pleasure. Only when we welcome Pain, we know and appreciate the sheer essence of Pleasure.I can’t agree with you more. If our hearts know not of Pain, how do we know there is Love?

If we don’t grow trees in our hearts, we’ll not let singing birds into hearts.

Energies flow where your intention goes.

How true that is. Many of us at one time or another, had some dreams that we gave up on. Or never ever got started. For those occasions, we were never focused enough to direct our energies appropriately to those dreams. Somehow or rather we had the comfort zone to get the better of us. Perhaps, we gave up or gave in too soon. We tried and tried and tried. At a spur of the moment when we need that comfort, we relented and gave up instantly on those dreams. We might be so very close to them. Yet not knowing, we gave in and submitted totally at the very last mile. Sigh!!

Realizing a dream needs action, courage and uncompromising perseverance. We need absolute motivation. Powerful motivation that we need to effortlessly summon within us. Strength. Do or die. That an attitude. We must adopt.

Yes. Finally. We’ve to believe absolutely in ourselves.

If it is to be, it is up to me!!

Only then can all our dreams burn blazing trails. Only then can we make our all dreams come true.

Life. Live It. Love it!!

Every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Fear not that your life will end, be afraid that it’ll never begin.

Impure Mind

“Impure mind is a past master in creating false grounds for continuing its present state of Being.”

Wisdom of Tao I Ching

Ambition
Those who wish to change the world
According with their desire
cannot succeed.

The world is shaped by the Way;

It cannot be shaped by the self.
Trying to change it, you damage it;
Trying to possess it, you lose it.

So some will lead, while others follow.
Some will be warm, others cold
Some will be strong, others weak.
Some will get where they are going
While others fall by the side of the road.

So the sage will be neither extravagant nor violent.

Harmony
Embracing the Way, you become embraced;
Breathing gently, you become newborn;
Clearing your mind, you become clear;
Nurturing your children, you become impartial;
Opening your heart, you become accepted;
Accepting the world, you embrace the Way.

Bearing and nurturing,
Creating but not owning,
Giving without demanding,
This is harmony.

Mind
The Way bears sensation,
Sensation bears memory,
Sensation and memory bear abstraction,
And abstraction bears all the world;
Each thing in the world bears feeling and doing,
And, imbued with mind, harmony with the Way.

As others have taught, so do I teach,
“Who loses harmony opposes nature”;
This is the root of my teaching.

Care at the Beginning
What lies still is easy to grasp;
What lies far off is easy to anticipate;
What is brittle is easy to shatter;
What is small is easy to disperse.

Yet a tree broader than a man can
embrace is born of a tiny shoot;
A dam greater than a river can
overflow starts with a clod of earth;
A journey of a thousand miles begins at the spot under one’s feet.

Therefore deal with things before they happen;
Create order before there is confusion.

“The mind is like a parachute - it works only when it is open.”

The Dalai Lama

Pranayama (Sanskrit: prāṇāyāma) is a Sanskrit word often translated as control of the life force (prana). When used as a technical term in yoga, it is often translated more specifically as “breath control.” Literal translations include A. A. Macdonell’s “suspension of breath” and I. K. Taimni’s “regulation of breath.”

Pranayama (Devanagari: prāṇāyāma) is a Sanskrit compound.

V. S. Apte provides fourteen different meanings for the word prana (Devanagari: prāṇa) including these:

* Breath, respiration
* The breath of life, vital air, principle of life (usually plural in this sense, there being five such vital airs generally assumed, but three, six, seven, nine, and even ten are also spoke of)
* Energy, vigor
* The spirit or soul

Of these meanings, the concept of “vital air” is used by Bhattacharyya to describe the concept as used in Sanskrit texts dealing with pranayama. Thomas McEvilley translates “prana” as “spirit-energy”.

Monier-Williams defines the compound prāṇāyāma as “N. of the three ‘breath-exercises’ performed during Saṃdhyā (See pūraka, recaka, kumbhaka.” This technical definition refers to a particular system of breath control with three processes as explained by Bhattacharyya: pūraka (to take the breath inside), kumbhaka (to retain it), and recaka (to discharge it). There are also other processes of pranayama in addition to this three-step model.

Macdonell gives the etymology as prāṇa + āyāma and defines it as “suspension of breath.”

Apte’s definition of āyāmaḥ derives it from ā + yām and provides several variant meanings for it when used in compounds. The first three meanings have to do with “length”, “expansion, extension”, and “stretching, extending”, but in the specific case of use in the compound prāṇāyāma he defines āyāmaḥ as meaning “restrain, control, stopping.”

An alternative etymology for the compound is cited by Ramamurti Mishra, who says that:

“Expansion of individual energy into cosmic energy is called prāṇāyāma (prāṇa, energy + ayām, expansion).”

The word “yama” (Devanagari: yāma) means “cessation” or more generally “control” or “restraint.”

Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

Pranayama is the fourth ‘limb’ of the eight limbs of Raja Yoga mentioned in verse 2.29 in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Patanjali discusses his specific approach to pranayama in verses 2.49 through 2.51, and devotes verses 2.52 and 2.53 to explaining the benefits of the practice. Patanjali refers to pranayama as the control of life force that comes as a result of practicing the various breathing techniques, rather than the numerous breathing exercises themselves.

Many yoga teachers advise that pranayama should be part of an overall practice that includes the other limbs of Patanjali’s Raja Yoga teachings, especially Yama, Niyama, and Asana.

Medical claims

Several researchers have reported that pranayama techniques are beneficial in treating a range of stress related disorders,[32] improving autonomic functions, relieving symptoms of asthma, and reducing signs of oxidative stress. Practitioners report that the practice of pranayama develops a steady mind, strong will-power, and sound judgement, and also claim that sustained pranayama practice extends life and enhances perception.

Cautions & contraindications

Many yoga teachers recommend that pranayama techniques be practiced with care, and that advanced pranayama techniques should be practiced under the guidance of a teacher. These cautions are also made in traditional Hindu literature.

Quotes

“Prana is a subtle invisible force. It is the life-force that pervades the body. It is the factor that connects the body and the mind, because it is connected on one side with the body and on the other side with the mind. It is the connecting link between the body and the mind. The body and the mind have no direct connection. They are connected through Prana only and this Prana is different from the breathing you have in your physical body.” — Swami Chidananda Saraswati.

“Yoga works primarily with the energy in the body, through the science of pranayama, or energy-control. Prana means also ‘breath.’ Yoga teaches how, through breath-control, to still the mind and attain higher states of awareness. The higher teachings of yoga take one beyond techniques, and show the yogi, or yoga practitioner, how to direct his concentration in such a way as not only to harmonize human with divine consciousness, but to merge his consciousness in the Infinite.” — Paramahansa Yogananda

Inner Child

Think about this -

“Being” takes precedence over “Doing.” An infant or a young child is always in Being. We adult filter messages and stimuli all the time that we constantly remain at the Doing without pausing to be at Being.

IF IT IS TRUE WE CREATE OUR OWN REALITY THEN WHY THE BLEEP DO WE CREATE SUCH CHAOS?

It is a scientifically-proven fact that our mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

What we conceive we achieve.

“What the Bleep Do We Know?”
is taking the metaphysical and recovery worlds by storm. The movie’s storyline weaves a womans addictive battles with quirky animation to depict the impact our thoughts have on every cell of our body. Sprinkled between the real and imaginary scenes are interviews with some of the world’s most renowned quantum physicists, spiritualists and alternative healers who substantiate the movie’s suggestions with compelling research and extraordinary possibilities.

One significant scene features the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto who “…discovered that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed toward them. He found that water from clear springs and water that has been exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts, forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors.”

When you focus positive, loving thoughts on your dreams
your mind starts the process of creating them

UNLESS

those thoughts get ambushed by your doubts and fears
which then create chaos and frustration.

If terror, betrayal, fear of abandonment or shame are attached to the manifestation of our dreams, those dreams will eventually be annihilated with negativity. If our dreams are based on the values of others instead of our own internal values and desires we deny the essence of our true self. The manifestation of our dreams is contingent on our being connected to our true self. When we are not connected, we feel a loss not only of our dreams but also a loss of our true self!

This loss of our true self evolves from our adapting to become who we think we need to be in hopes of feeling accepted and loved. Loss activates the process of grief. It is involuntary. It is a natural, predictable series of emotional responses we engage in any time we experience loss of any kind. These emotional responses affect the way we think and the manner in which we express our emotions.

“What the Bleep Do We Know?” offers its audience the latest scientific research supporting the existence of a bio-chemical component linked to these emotional responses. What you think, feel and say plays such a profound role that you literally can (and unconsciously do) use your thoughts, feelings and statements to impact your cells.

Athletes know this. Cancer-survivors know this. They have long known the power of positive, deliberate intention and affirmation. They employ these techniques with great success. What most of us do not keep in mind, on a day-to-day basis, however, is the fact that when our thoughts, feelings and statements are negative they produce negative results. Our cells flat-line… become lethargic… and are programmed to energetically attract exactly what we intend. If we tell ourselves we are fat, our cells create fat. If we tell ourselves we are a failure, we creative situations in which we fail. If we fear getting hurt, we attract hurtful situations. This pattern of negative belief systems, self-negating feelings and incriminating self-talk begins in childhood in response to the first moment we are confronted with not feeling safe.

THE ESSENTIAL WOUND - Each of us experienced that climatic moment when we realized we were not safe. It is part of the human experience. Many refer to this moment as the essential wound. Our psyche experiences a trauma which shatters our basic assumption about our world. This trauma can be a result of neglect, sexual or physical abuse or mental cruelty through shame and belittlement. It can be experienced in this lifetime or can even be carried over from a previous lifetime. The DNA blueprint of our first remembered soul experience of being unsafe is carried in the etheric body and impacts the force field of our current incarnation.

In response to this realization, irrespective of its origin, our psyche goes into shock. We either dissociate from the emotion of the event or bury recall of the event, thus banishing the memory deep into the unconscious mind. The stress of these traumas, however, gets recorded in the electrical systems of our bodies and ultimately emerges as symptoms of what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder-PTSD - Until recently it was thought PTSD affected only combat veterans. Now scientists know that, in fact, not only are survivors of atrocities such as the Holocaust, torture, war, natural disasters, catastrophic illnesses, and horrific accidents susceptible to PTSD but anyone who is exposed to an on-going threat to his or her safety, such as physical or sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, family alcoholism, or any experience which threatens ones basic survival can develop a form of PTSD. Remarkably, this holds true even if a person witnesses a traumatic event. If, as a child, you observed the abuse of your mother or the abuse of a sibling you can develop debilitating symptoms from just having been a witness.

Traumas of such great magnitude shatter our basic assumption about the world and our personal safety. The impact can leave us feeling alienated, distrustful or overly clinging. These responses are buried and surface only when there is a trigger which brings these feelings back to the surface. However, underneath the surface, the electrically-charged emotions related to these traumas are forever coded in our bodies and are conditioning our cells to attract exactly that which we most fear. The process becomes circular our fear perpetuates this Post Traumatic Stress response and our PTS response perpetuates our fear. This fear creates anxiety. Anxiety is the first stage of grief. We are perpetually responding to the never-ending loss of our true self. Why? Because when we feel unsafe, we deny our true self and develop the adapted self as we become who we think we need to be in order to be loved and protected.

Source: Create Reality - Create Chaos By Cathryn Taylor, M.A., MFT, LADC

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet.

She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully.

Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall’s Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

‘And what do you want?’ the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. ‘I’m talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven’t seen in ages,’ he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

‘Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,’ Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. ‘He’s really, really sick … and I want to buy a miracle.’

‘I beg your pardon?’ said the pharmacist.

‘His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?’

‘We don’t sell miracles here, little girl. I’m sorry but I can’t help you,’ the pharmacist said, softening a little.

‘Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.’

The pharmacist’s brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, ‘What kind of a miracle does your brother need?’

‘ I don’t know,’ Tess replied with her eyes welling up. ‘I just know he’s really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money.’

‘How much do you have?’ asked the man from Chicago .

‘One dollar and eleven cents,’ Tess answered barely au dibly.

‘And it’s all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.’

‘Well, what a coincidence,’ smiled the man. ‘A dollar and eleven cents - the exact price of a miracle for little brothers.’

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said ‘Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let’s see if I have the miracle you need.’

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn’t long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

‘That surgery,’ her Mom whispered. ‘was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?’

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost … one dollar and eleven cents … plus the faith of a little child.

In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will need.

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law. I know you’ll keep the ball moving!

Here it goes. Throw it back to someone who means something to you!

A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see is the treasure of friendship you’ve granted to me.

Today I pass the friendship ball to you.

Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you.

MY OATH TO YOU…

When you are sad … I will dry your tears.

When you are scared … I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried … I will give you hope.

When you are confused … I will help you cope.

And when you are lost … And can’t see the light, I shall be your beacon … Shining ever so bright.

This is my oath … I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask? Bec au se you’re my friend.

Signed:

GOD

Main article: Neuro-linguistic programming

Neuro-linguistic programming studies and models how people think about and perceive aspects of their life, and how to work with the underlying cognitive and emotional processes at a practical level. The range of potential uses is varied, and NLP has an exceptionally broad and adaptable structure.

The field originated in the work of Richard Bandler, John Grinder in association with polymath Gregory Bateson in Santa Cruz, California in the early 1970s, when they recorded and studied in depth several world renowned therapists who seemed to obtain almost magical[1] results by the therapeutic standards of the time. They concluded that a comprehensive set of self-taught approaches and skills was largely responsible for their success, that these could be summarized and expanded upon, and that much of human perception and experience was also structured and could be worked with effectively in this way. They stated, in contravention of the professional wisdom of that time, that the internal human experience demonstrated itself in people’s behaviors, and could be worked with directly given an appropriate mindset, and that this was why certain individuals were so singularly successful as therapists compared to the norm.

Despite its substantial influence and adoption of its viewpoints, extreme skepticism persists in some quarters, due both to its pop psychology usage and non-traditional approach to psychology.

Techniques v. attitudes

Grinder and Bandler made very clear that there was a profound (although blurred) difference between skills and techniques as a basis for working with people, and attitudes and approaches.

“People who come to us in therapy typically have pain in their lives and experience little or no choice in matters which they consider important. All therapies are confronted with the problem of responding adequately to such people. Responding adequately in this context means to us assisting in changing the client’s experience in some way which enriches it. Rarely do therapies accomplish this by changing the world. Their approach, then, is typically to change the client’s experience of the world. People do not operate directly on the world, but operate necessarily on the world through their perception or model of the world. Therapies, then, characteristically operate to change the client’s model of the world and consequently the client’s behavior and experiences.”

Purpose and basis of NLP’s world view

The founders of NLP emphasize that in their experience, experts in human communication all have a similar approach, and it is this approach (and not the technical skills) which distinguishes them, and which can be learned:

“When you watch and listen to Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson do therapy, they apparently could not be more different…People also report that the experiences of being with them are profoundly different. However, if you examine their behavior and the essential key patterns and sequences of what they do, they are similar…. The same was true of Fritz Perls… when he was operating in what I consider a powerful and effective way, he was using the same sequences of patterns that you will find in their work.

Analyzing this further, Grinder and Bandler stated that there were a very few common traits such people – whether top therapists, top executives or top salespeople – all seemed to share:

1. Everything they did in their work, was pro-active (rather than reactive), directed moment to moment by well-formed outcomes rather than formalized fixed beliefs
2. They were exceedingly flexible in approach and refused to be tied down to using their skills in any one fixed way of thinking or working
3. They were extremely aware moment by moment, of the non-verbal feedback (unconscious communicationn and metaphor) they were getting, and responded to it - usually in kind rather than by analyzing it
4. They enjoyed the challenges of difficult (”resistant”) clients, seeing them as a chance to learn rather than an intractable “problem”
5. They respected the client as someone doing the best they knew how (rather than judging them as “broken” or “working”)
6. They had certain common skills and things they were aware of and noticed, intuitively “wired in”
7. They worked with great precision, purpose, and skill
8. They kept trying many many different things until they learned enough about the structure holding a problem in place to change it

They summarized their findings:

“You need only three things to be an absolutely exquisite communicator. We have found that there are three major patterns in the behavior of every therapeutic wizard we’ve talked to — and executives, and salespeople. The first one is to know what outcome you want. The second is that you need flexibility in your behavior. You need to be able to generate lots and lots of different behaviors to find out what responses you get. The third is you need to have enough sensory experience to notice when you get the responses that you want…”

Skills vs. philosophy in NLP

Grinder and Bandler stated categorically that although these people had developed many innovative and effective skills,[10] the core of their effectiveness was neither their skills, nor some mystical or unknowable quality or personality. It was primarily the attitudes, approaches and philosophies they had in common which made them capable of effective work, and these could be learned and transmitted. When this was done, others could learn from these models to be effective the same way. This approach became central within the philosophy and epistemology of NLP:

What we essentially do is to pay very little attention to what people say they do and a great deal of attention to what they do… We know that our modeling has been successful when we can systematically get the same behavioral outcome [results] as the person we have modeled. And when we can teach somebody else to be able to get the same outcomes in a systematic way, that’s an even stronger test.

We don’t know what Virginia Satir really does with families. However, we can describe her behavior in such a way that we can come to any one of you and say ‘Here. Take this. Do these things in this sequence. Practice until it becomes a systematic part of your unconscious behavior, and you will end up being able to elicit the same responses that Virginia elicits.’ We do not test the description we arrive at for ‘accuracy’, or how it fits with neurological data, or statistics about what should be going on. All we do in order to understand whether our description is an adequate model… is to find out whether it works or not: - are you able to exhibit effectively in your behavior the same patterns that Virginia exhibits in hers, and get the same results?

We will be making statements up here which may have no relationship to the ‘truth,’ to what’s ‘really going on.’ We do know, however, that the model that we have made up of her behavior has been effective. After being exposed to it and practicing the patterns and the descriptions that we have offered, people’s behavior changes in ways that make them effective in the same way that Satir is.

– Frogs into Princes, pp.7, 9-10

Features of NLP’s world view

Subjectivity

Unlike classical psychology, the subjective character of experience is integral to NLP. (Subjective in the NLP sense means “as internally experienced”, rather than ‘arbitrary’ or ‘whimsical’). It is taken for granted that what people perceive, believe and feel, is more significant to their lives than what is objectively ‘true’, and takes for granted that each person’s awareness and inner world is different and unique. It is emphasized that one must leave ones’ own preconceptions behind, and be willing to understand and work within the other person’s “reality”, to have any great effect, since no one map of reality can be said to be “true”. There are only (in NLP’s view) better or worse maps, a concept taken from Korzybski’s general semantics.

There is an order and a structured logic to it. But that order and logic varies individually and people interact and judge their (and others) lives and actions based upon their own understandings of the world, not upon some objective reality.

Human nature

NLP does not (subject to physiological pathology) consider people “broken” or “working”. All people have a neurology, experience of life, and the innate ability to change their perspective on any aspect of their life, and the nature of neurology is very adaptable. They also have great wisdom in their unconscious minds, even if they do not seem to be able to always use it or it seems on the surface, dysfunctional. One does not have to be in trance for unconscious processes to be effective.

NLP view human authenticity as bound up with the capability to respond and how much awareness of choice is experienced in actions and responses. Bandler comments, “We’re talking about basic beliefs regarding human capability. Here’s the only truth about that. Nobody knows.”

In NLP, “understanding” is less important than change. Most human learning occurs outside consciousness, and some learnings may even be sabotaged by conscious attention. According to NLP, the brain is capable of learning (or re-learning) patterns extremely fast, and that change can happen quickly, often without conscious mediation. Dysfunctional patterns can be addressed through cognitive routes (talking therapies) or non-cognitive routes (working with the body and unconscious mind), and particularly, by directly retraining the mind to use its innate capability to learn new patterns in a deliberate manner. NLP believes that “People already have all the resources they need, to change”, that the mind/brain is very willing to change once it “knows” how, and that guided with skill and sensitivity, change provides an increased sense of control over ones’ life.

A powerful demonstration of these interactions by Baxter (1994) found that NLP reframing used to treat obsessive compulsive disorder in place of Prozac, resulted in the same raised serotonin levels and reduced caudate nucleus activity as control subjects who took medication (as measured by positron emission tomography, a type of neural imaging).

Systems view

People are complex adaptive (learning) systems and processes, and have a richness to them which no simple system can fully predict or capture. Our bodies, our societies, and our planet form an ecology of complex systems and sub-systems all of which interact with and mutually influence each other. “Intuitively obvious” results are not always to be expected. Positive and negative feedback, leverage points, interpretational context, and other features of complex systems will come into play. In humans, the body impacts on the mind, and the mind impacts on the body. Thought, emotional state, somatic awareness, perception, and body usage, as well as neurochemistry and other hormonal interactions, and external circumstances, are all profoundly interdependent and deeply connected, and any can influence or be influenced by another.

In NLP it is therefore seen as important not to make untested assumptions about individuals, that there are many more ways than the obvious to approach a seemingly intractable problem, it is understood there will usually be unconscious goals, limiting beliefs or secondary gains present in any situation, and that there is an art as well as a skill in perceiving how best to approach this. Change is also systemic. That is, it does not happen in a vacuum and is not limited to the “problem area”, but usually is connected to other aspects of life, which are part of the situation as well as a necessary part of any solution. Partly for this reason, NLP leaves deliberately open and unlimited, its areas of interest and its scope.

As a special case of systemic thinking, NLP emphasizes that change is relational. That is, change happens in a relational context, whether the self-relationship or the relationship with another person (parent, friend, partner, employer, co-worker, role model, clinician, trainer). Change happens in a relationship, and the quality of that relationship, known as rapport, is often critical to the ability to change.

Meaning and context in communication

NLP views meaning as only existing within a given context, a view known as cultural relativism which is axiomatic in anthropology. Because of this, NLP states The meaning of communication is the result you get – it is not message sent, but message received, and willingness to set aside preconceived interpretive frames, which is most significant in communication.

The process of interpreting “meaning” from thought and speech is complex and (as pointed out in sciences such as cognitive linguistics, transformational grammar and general semantics) can involve a wide range of distortions, errors, and mistranslations because internal experiences, thoughts and feelings have to be translated back and forth through conscious perceptual filters, into crude symbols known as ‘words’. The resulting patterns of speech are considered highly revealing of the unconscious perceptual filters involved.

NLP considers all behavior, at some level, communicative. Thus even undesired or clinical states such as depression and confusion have a structure, a purpose, and an underlying communication – or in other words, on their own terms, all mental states have a rational structure within their given context. Such states are often viewed by NLP not as problems, but as valuable resource states which are not being understood or acted upon, or a part of a person trying to grow or change, or which require a better ‘map’ of reality. NLP also considers much communication metaphorical, and that even its own tools can be philosophically interpreted as metaphors used to guide useful responses, rather than literal objective ‘truth statements’.

Form and content

In NLP, underlying subjective (perceived, cognitive) structure (”form”) matters more than specific situational “content”. The subjective structure of a perceived problem matters more than the situation in which it is embedded. This is an embodiment of the form/content distinction in philosophy, also favored by Western psychiatric medicine (an innovation first argued for by psychiatrists Karl Jaspers and Kurt Schneider), and is also a feature within cognitive linguistics.

NLP takes this principle into the field, with so-called “content free” work being a common respected NLP skill – that is, where no details of the situation are shared or sought, but only the cognitive features of how it is structured are relevant. Despite the practitioner lacking knowledge of the actual situation, knowledge of the structural aspects alone (modalities, strategies, outcome orientation and the like) are often sufficient by themselves to allow NLP to work with full effectiveness. Common rationales for working with reduced content in this manner are:

* The less content is involved, the more the practitioner is client- rather than self- or interpretation-focussed
* The less distraction (ie, loss of strategic focus) due to content is likely to arise.
* Other than perhaps for rapport purposes, the extra information is generally not very relevant to NLP’s strategic structural approach, so it is wasteful of time to dwell on it

NLP is in the present and oriented towards the future

No matter the personal history, the only memory of it is in the present neurology and life. The past has no existence independent of this. Therefore what is explored is the memory and impressions of events in the present – present experiences, present constructions, and present limits, including the present beliefs about their existence and origins. What is then aimed for is to build in the present, a changed future, where old, outdated, or dysfunctional beliefs and patterns are no longer an issue.

Common sayings (or principles)

The following are some of NLP’s most recognized principles and presuppositions, in their well known aphoristic forms. They are often summarized as soundbites so as to be short, pithy, and memorable, and a fuller discussion of these (as well as some of the other common NLP sayings) is given in Principles of NLP.

Perspectives:

* The map is not the territory
* People already have all the resources they need to succeed [or change]

Systemic view:

* Life and ‘Mind’ are systemic processes

Information and interpretation:

* Behind every behavior is a positive intention
* There is no failure, only feedback
* The meaning of your communication is the response you get
* Choice is better than no choice (and flexibility is the way one gets choice)
* Multiple descriptions are better than one
* There are no resistant clients; there are only incompetent [less skilled] therapists

Working approaches:

* If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got
(or: If what you are doing isn’t working, try something [anything] else)
* Good NLP is 90% information gathering and testing, and 10% changework
* Everyone is different
* Use whatever works
* If something can be done effectively and ecologically in ten minutes, don’t spend an hour doing it

3900 Saturdays And 1,000 Marbles

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it’s the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it’s the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about “a thousand marbles.” I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say–

“Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It’s too bad you missed your daughter’s “dance recital” he continued.”Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.” And that’s when he began to explain his theory of a “thousand marbles.”

“You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.”

“Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I’m getting to the important part.It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail”, he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.”

“I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.”

“Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight .”

“Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.”

“It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!”

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. ” C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.”

“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile.

“Oh, nothing special, it’s just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.”

p/s … “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.” - Winnie the Pooh.

The event is nothing;

The respond is everything.

We do have a choice;

We can’t change the event but we can change our perception.

An event is always in the past tense. Do we want to live the past? It’s gone. That event coming back will not be exactly the same. Just like water in a flowing river, that water will never ever be the same. Do we want to expand our energies in an event that has already gone past for good? An anger, an irritation, a frustration, a sadness, a guilt, a fear.

Making a choice is being in the “Presence”. Being in “Now”. Letting the Past go. Releasing it. Finding a closure. Forgiving. Our life’s meant to be a joyful journey. We’re all here to live. Forgiving and releasing what has just pasted is the beginning to be aware of our Being.

Being in the Presence. Being in Now.

Similar to being in a relationship. Many of us during the times when we’re being with our parents, spouses, friends or children, we’re in a state of drifted lost. We’re not being aware of the joy of those connections. Our daily pressures and demand distant us from enjoying those connections. We tend to be lost in enjoying those relationships. We’re lost in our own thoughts while being with them. We aren’t being in an Aware state. We’re not in the flow. We’re being around our relationships for the sake of just being around. How often do we enjoy everyone single moment when we’re being around them. It’s not the amount time that we spent being with them. It’s about the quality time, although it might be for just a few minutes. If each of those minutes is a joy to both parties, those moments were not lost.

Just like when we fall in love, each moment is a blissful romantic moment. We’re in the flow; we’re being in absolute awareness; we’re being in absolute presence.

Think about this story…

A king was once asked by a man, “how can you be in a state of constant awareness. You’ve all the richness to corrupt you, to spoil you. You’ve the power to distract you”.

The king replied, “why not. Let me show you. Now carry this hot pot of oil on your head and never spill a drop. Follow me for a stroll beyond the gates of my palace”.

The king and the man walked past busy streets filled with aromas, sounds of music, whispers, snake charmers and beautiful women.

Having returning to the palace after the walk, the king asked the man, “now relate to me what you’d heard, the smell, things you’ve seen and felt “.

The man replied, “how could I’ve done any of those. I was concentrating on making sure the pot of oil was steadily balanced on my head”.

The king replied, “there you go. You’re in an absolute state of bliss. In total awareness and nothing else in important. You’re in the Presence. The events around you didn’t matter at all. You’re totally absorb with the moments while the pot of oil was on your head”.

Just like - each breathe that we take, it’s a new breathe. We chose to enjoy that new breathe or treat it as just another breathe. “If it is to be, it is up to me”.

Make that choice NOW.